The Readings.....OF INSANITY!
by Crazed Toast Monkey
Summary: Zim is about to face something he has never encountered before.THE DOOMED WORLD OF THE KINDERGARDNERS! How will Zim survive one day with keeping his sanity? *CHAPTER 2 is up!*
1. Default Chapter

The Readings ....OF INSANITY!  
  
  
  
Ms. Bitters: Now class, I shall explain to you what fiendish plans the government has in store for you and your pathetic useless lives. They plan to tax you unmercilessly, leaving you with no money...which is why no one has any shoes.  
  
Letter M: Um....Ms. Bitters,we have shoes,see? They're on our feet.  
  
Ms. Bitters: (gives him the evil eye) You shall be the first to perish.....*presses a button next to her desk that opens up the floor beneath the Letter M spiraling him down to his doomy fate*  
  
Ms. Bitters: ANYONE ELSE DENY MY RANTINGS???????  
  
Class: *silent and wide eyed....Crickets are heard chirping in the background and a tumble weed is tumbling by. There's a fire outside caused by radioactive test bunnies and people are running and screaming for their dear lives.....wait.....who cares about that???*   
  
Ms. Bitters: Now...listen up you bunch of pitiful living beings clogging up my breathing space.....it seems it's that time of year again that you are all forced against your own will to read to the little dirty kindergarteners of this skool....I bet your all happy and just cant wait to see the stink of a small child's face.  
  
Zim: KINDERGARDNERS??? what are these "kindergarteners" (does the little finger motion....i luv doin that) Are these some kind of small Chemical Demon beings that steal all of your organs and hide them in the Janitor's closet?  
  
Dib: Once again Zim you are way off......and what's with the finger motions?  
  
Zim: DO NOT QUESTION MY ANTICS INCOMPETENT MONKEY!?!? *shakes his fist in the direction of Dib*  
  
Dib: If you really wanna know, Zim, they are the smallest NORMAL KIDS.......maybe except that one who spends all his time eatin blue jello in a corner......  
  
*cut to the Blue jello kid*  
  
BJK: HOW DO THEY MAKE IT SSSSOOOO BLUE????? HOW DO THEY MAKE IT SSSOOO BLUE???? *dives his face in the jello as the others stare in shock*  
  
* cut back to Ms. Bitter's class*  
  
Zim: you mean....no janitor's closet.....CURSES better save that excavation for another day... *hint hint my fellow crazed moronic ones*  
  
Dib: *shudders* that kid is even creepier than I seem to be....I still cant believe you didn't know what kindergarteners are.....that prooves 100% that you're an alien.  
  
Zita: Give him a break "Freak of the Year"....George doesn't even know where he is yet.  
  
*cut to the back of the class room*  
  
George: Has anyone seen my lunch? *looks around* WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE!?!?  
( just to tell you....i own george....i just luv to say that name...come on say it with me "GEORGE" ah.....now that I have bought myself sometime to think about the next thing to write....i present you with...more of the story!) (Oh and for those of you who didn't join me in one my "screaming of funny words moment" you'll know why next year I   
didn't send you my happy basket of various goodies ^_^.....have fun!)  
  
Brian: um...Ms. Bitters??? hey guys is she dead???  
  
*Ms. Bitters is seen snoring in her chair*  
  
(looks like I have ranted for too long.....That racoon staring at me from my window made me do it!.....YEA!)  
  
Aki: Carl! go poke Ms. Bitters!  
  
Carl: WHAT??? why me?  
  
Aki: because your the only one with a stick in his hands.  
  
Carl: *looks in his hand* oh. (whos responsible for that genius? *bows* Thankyou Thankyou my adoring fans! everyone silent: Forget about my bacon basket too.......) Wait, Are you crazy???...maybe i was a moron for leaving my underwear on for a month but poking Ms. Bitters is like falling down insanity cliff! (A place that I think about in my dreams)  
  
Everyone except Zim and Dib.....they're too busy staring at everyone weirdly: *they bang there fists on the the desk and shout "CARL"*  
  
*Carl goes up with his stick and pokes Ms. Bitters...she instantly wakes up and whacks Carl right out of the classroom*  
  
Everyone: *gone silent*  
  
Chunk: Cool.....I never knew that Ms. Bitters had such an arm.  
  
Tae: I'm just gald we don't have to smell his underwear again......  
  
Spoo: does anyone notice how Carl just went flying out of the window and that we just might never see him again? *everyone stares* I mean......That was awesome! ( I'm keepin on the whole routine that all students are pretty much lack knowledge......amazing no?) ( Also more about where abouts of Carl....coming soon!)  
  
Ms. Bitters: As I was saying class...you will be reading to the kindergardners tommorow or the skool will pain your life with misery.  
  
Dib: didnt they already do that?  
  
Ms. Bitters:...........yes  
  
*they stare at eachother*  
  
Ms. Bitters: CLASS DISMISSED!  
  
*everyone joyously runs out of the classroom or jumps out of the hole in the window that Carl made*  
  
Zim: Ugh.....theres nothing I hate more then little stink children running around pooping all over the place. It sickens me that I must read to them for their enjoyment......Why must I make the enemy happy?  
  
Dib: For once Zim......your right about something. Those kids are so dense they need to be taught time and time again how to spell the word cat.   
  
*Outside of school, Zim's walking home*  
  
Zim: Another revolting day of skool finished with......now i must plan for how i'm going to deal with these tiny terrors tommorow.......  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
What will Zim do? Will he be sane by the time the day ends? Will we ever see poor Carl again? And whats with that kid with the obsession for Jello.......hell I dunno....Thats why your supposed to tune in for the next chapter! So all you can do now is wait.....as I control your fate. Wacth out FF.net another evil crazed author has risen....hehehee i like chocolate muffins! * that was only a tiny portion of my awsome power* Untill we cross paths again! 


	2. chapter 2

Readings....OF INSANITY!  
(Part 2)  
  
Hey everyone! Im back....nows the time to run and scream in fear..WHY AREN'T YOU RUNNING!?!? FEAR ME! oh well, I'd first like to give a big shout out to my older sis (which her name is luvmydogz..READ HER FICS..MY TOAST COMMANDS YOU!) Without her I would have serious writer's block...Then I would end up in the land of cute squirrels (YAYZ!...i mean YAYZ!) Anywayz, I don't own any zim characters for they are owned by the big dude himself Jhonen Vasqeuz. Now pitiful specks, gaze upon my glorious fic...I don't see you gazing! ^.^  
  
* The scene is Zim walking to school, the horrible day has come where Zim must read to the little "tikes of terror". He's also holding Gir (who is disguised as a Teddy bear. everyone: aw....! QUIET PEEPS! FIC TIME....U LISTEN!)*  
  
Zim: CEASE THE SQUIRMING GIR! We are almost at the stink people's school.  
  
Gir: aw...come on master, one dance?  
  
Zim: NO! inanimate objects do not move....  
  
Gir: U KNOW U WANT ME TOO ^_^!  
  
Zim: Fine, but you do know that I will blow you up in the future.  
  
Gir: YAY!  
  
*Gir gets on the floor and does a little break dance routine*  
  
Gir: WEW! IM BOOGYING TO THE BEAT!  
  
*Gir takes out his quote on qoute "special friend"*  
  
Gir: IM GROOVIN WITH GERTRUDE!  
  
Zim: Gir your dancing is making me sick and wait.......who's gertrude?  
  
Gir: ME RUBBER BABOON! IT SQUEAKS!!!! DANCE WITH GERTRUDE!  
  
Zim: eh no that's okay.....GIR STOP DANCING WE'RE GOING TO BE LATE!  
  
Gir: *all of a sudden stops* OKAY!  
  
*at sKool*  
  
Dib: Nice Teddy Zim....is there a little blankie that comes with that?  
  
Zim: SILENCE DIB-WORM!! I have this so called "teddy" (finger motions..hehe) to protect me from the germs of those awful little doom children.  
  
Dib: uh yea, but what's with the finger motions?  
  
Zim: ONCE AGAIN SHUTUP ABOUT MY MOVING FINGERS OR THIS TEDDY IS GOING STRAIGHT DOWN YOUR STINK FILLED THROAT!  
  
Gir: WEE! I LIKE RIDING STINKY THINGS!  
  
Zim: *whacks GIR* QUIET GIR!! YOU'LL BLOW OUR COVER!  
  
Gir: I'm hungry  
  
Ms. Bitters: Well class i'm glad you didn't take advantage of the escape hatch.   
  
*everyone looks at eachother questioningly*  
  
Ms. Bitters: Yes, there was an escape. See? It's over there labled " GIANT ESCAPE...WHICH WORKS" Maybe if you all would have just shut your infernal mouths for one second, you wouldve seen it. But its too late now!!  
  
Class: aw  
  
Ms. Bitters: Now class you will all follow me down the halls to the room in which all your lives will be prooved meaningless. If by any chance you get lost in the Boiler room, curl up into a ball and accept your wretched fates.  
  
*everyone looks at eachother nervously*  
  
Ms. Bitters: Well since you all seem so ready we shall move out.  
  
*everyone stands there*  
  
Ms. Bitters: Eh....that means to get out of the classroom.  
  
Class: O....*they start to move out*  
  
Ms. Bitters: .....Morons  
  
Aki: huh?  
  
Ms. Bitters: Oh, I just said you were all morons.  
  
Aki: oh. OK!  
  
* In the Hallways....OF DOOM!*  
  
Gir: why'd I have to be a teddy? I WANTED TO BE A MONGOOSE.....I GOTTA WEASEL IN MY TUMMY!  
  
Zim: For the last time Gir...you shall cease with your doomish nonsense or face my wrath.  
  
Gir: CARROTS.....WHERE ARE THE CARROTS?  
  
* two minutes later*  
  
Gir: LA LA LA LA LA LA (you know in that eery little girl way...hey..I GOT GOOSEBUMPS!)  
  
Ms. Bitters: ZIM!  
  
Zim: SIR!  
  
Ms. Bitters: Is your Bear.....singing?  
  
Zim: NO! uh...no,no, don't be silly.  
  
Gir: LA LA LA LA LA LA! (again with the eeryness...oy!)  
  
Ms. Bitters: Zim.....that bear is singing.  
  
Dib: How are you going to get out of this one space scum....seems that you will be exposed for the dirty alien you really are....then mankind will-  
  
Zim: You finished?  
  
Dib: actually, I wasn't  
  
Zim: QUIET!  
  
Gir: LA LA LA LA LA LA!  
  
Zim: DAMN YOU GIR! *shakes his fist at gir*  
  
Ms. Bitters: Why is your bear singing....ZIM?  
  
Zim: It's the latest of all earth crazes....eh talking bears-  
  
Gir: WITH A WEASEL IN THEIR TUMMY!   
  
Zim: uh....Right!  
  
Rob: WOW! I want one!  
  
Tae: Yea that talking weasel bear is so cool...  
  
Zim: BE QUIET!  
  
*At the Smelly kindergartner's door*  
  
Ms. Bitters: Now children, here we are, the kindergartner's classroom. Beyond this door.....YOU SHALL ALL LOSE YOUR SOULS!!! *dun dun dun*  
  
Sara: You can't lose your soul...  
  
Ms. Bitters: *pushes a button on her watch and the floor opens underneath Sara, plunging her to a souly fate. MMMMM I like soul toast ^_^*  
  
Ms. Bitters: Anyone else want to join Sara and the Letter M in the pits of darkness and despair?  
  
*everyone is silent. Outside, an icecream truck explodes setting other buildings on fire, then people engage in the screaming and running again....you probably want to get back to the story right?*  
  
Ms. Bitters: Your pitiful lives end here  
  
Gir: SNAKE LADY WILL GIVE ME BUTTERED TOAST!.....aw, my weasel escaped.  
  
*down the hallway*  
  
Lizard Boy: hey...there's a weasel knawing on my ankle.......I feel lonley....so cold. HEY JELLO! *eats jello*  
  
Blue Jello Kid: *runs up to lizard boy* NNNOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
  
What will happen beyond those doors? Will Blue Jello Kid ever get his jello back? What's waiting for Zim, Dib and the others? Hey......Where's Carl? Those questions will all be answered....SOON! NOW...BE LEFT IN SUSPENSE....AS I laugh at you! *insert evil laughter* FARE THEE WELL READERS! *dissapears in dancing hippo smoke* (BTW....I like penguins, not hippos) 


End file.
